Say something about gay babies.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
