Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize