IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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