no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
