We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
