see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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