the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
