Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
