you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
