You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I want a musical about memes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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