Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize