it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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