It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
