i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
