i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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