if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
