Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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