so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
