Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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