he wants to bone in the snuggie
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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