I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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