I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
