i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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