I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
