There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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