It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
