Where is the hickey?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
