you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
