I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
