There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
