i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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