I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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