i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
