New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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