I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize