we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize