coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
