wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
