And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
