I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
