Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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