and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
