Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
