I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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