I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
