dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize