Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
