butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
