happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
