Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
