Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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