last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
