thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
