you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize