Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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