Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
