woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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