So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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