ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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