he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
