I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
