I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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