I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
