I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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