Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
