omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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