We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he puts the penis in happiness.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
