You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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