i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
This house was built for laser tag.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
