Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize